Lady Gaga Performs at MTV VMAs -- As a Man!

She was born one way -- but performs another!

Lady Gaga took the stage at the MTV VMAs -- as a man! The 25-year-old "You and I" singer opened Sunday night's show at Nokia Theater dressed in drag.

"My name is Jo Calderone," she said as part of an extended pre-performance monologue. "Lady Gaga? She left me!" 

Smoking a cigarette and angrily addressing the audience, the singer fully committed to her character. "[Lady Gaga] is f**king crazy. For example, she gets out of the bed, puts on the heels," she said. "She comes out of the bathroom dripping wet and she's still got the heels on. And what's with the hair? At first it was sexy, but now I'm just confused."

"I think it's really f**king great that she's such a star," Gaga said. "But how am I supposed to shine?"

She then sat down at her piano and belted out a soulful rendition of "You and I." Then, Brian May from Queen came on stage and joined the singer.